Every January my gym is descended upon by a throng of committed new members who have made some form of new years resolution to be healthier.

Usually, most of those new faces have vanished by the end of March.

I often wonder about those people. Is their Inner Critic beating them up in April because they stopped going to the gym in March?

No matter the type of resolution, we all fall off the wagon at some point.

You don’t have to give up on your commitment. Instead you can try a flexible approach.

One of my clients was talking about what a “loser” she was for not playing the piano. We uncovered that her mother had recently lamented that she wanted to hear her play piano again (she had taken lessons as a child). To please her mother, my client agreed to rent a piano. But every time she walked past it without sitting down to practice, she felt pangs of guilt.

In our coaching session, I asked her what she was hoping for after practicing piano again. She really wanted to spend time with her mother and feel close to her again. I shared that connecting with her mother was the actual  “decision” or goal. When it became clear that she had no interest in playing the piano anymore, I asked her about alternative “approaches.” She immediately started listing all the things she could do and share with her mother.

She returned the piano immediately. A year later they had created exciting new memories, together. Her clarity on the actual underlying objective, gave her the ability to be flexible in how she approached it.

Now it’s your turn! Use these steps to find clarity on your goals and a new flexible approach:

  1. Select a goal, resolution, or focus that you already have, but are feeling resistance to.

  2. Take a couple of minutes to reflect and write down the importance of the intention you chose. Why did you choose this goal? What are you wanting to achieve?

  3. Imagine you’ve completed this goal/met your objective. Looking back, how are you feeling? What are you looking back on? What did this experience give you? What did you learn?

  4. Does your goal meet your original purpose? Will it give you the experience or end result you seek?

    • If so, are there any adjustments or support you want to keep you going? Support could look like setting up forms of accountability, defining milestones, or even rewards along the way!

    • If not, let’s change your approach! Are there other ways you can meet this intention? How can you be flexible in your approach and still meet your goal? What would feel good? Or, perhaps change your goal or objective.

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