Uncategorized

Can You Live Authentically and Thrive, or Do You Really Have to Fake It to Make It?

We are all familiar with that phrase, “Fake it till you make it.” We are so often told that if we want to be someone or something, we first have to pretend in order to reach our goal. In fact, when I look back on my life, from being raised to be tough and fierce, to being in a marriage where I felt like an alien when spending time with my ex’s family, to starting Read more…

By Carly Ebenstein, ago
Insights

How I Listened to Myself and Got to my Sweet Spot

How Listening to myself brought me to the Sweet Spot of life according to what I WANT and BELIEVE. It’s taken me many, many years, the majority of my life, to really listen to myself. Why?  Because like many of you, I had very strong influences about how I should be, what I should believe and what success looks like.  Sound familiar?   Back in 2014, I started my coaching journey which was a hugely Read more…

By Carly Ebenstein, ago
Insights

Finding Flow

A few weeks ago, I received an email looking for coaches to co-lead a session introducing prospective coaches to The Co-Active Training Institute (CTI). My heart started beating quickly. We all have activities that give us that stomach-churning feeling of falling. I call these our “Personal High Dives.” One of my biggest high dives is public speaking. Even thinking about having to speak in front of a group with all eyes on me, would bring Read more…

By Carly Ebenstein, ago
Insights

Releasing Invisible Baggage

Recently, I was working with a client who felt that she was being held back. On the surface this is not someone who would appear to be stuck or held back in any way. I know her to be successful in her work, happy in her relationship, with a reliable circle of friends. Intuitively, I asked what it was like for her growing up in her home. She shared that her childhood was a blur Read more…

By Carly Ebenstein, ago
Insights

Own Your Gifts & Grow Your World

What drives us to be so uncomfortable talking about our strengths? Give us a compliment or ask us to list our achievements, and most of us will shrink and deflect, our negative thought patterns come and we play small. I asked a recent client “Which of your qualities makes you excellent in your role?” “Ummmm…I know I’m good at my job, but I don’t want to sound like an obnoxious a**hole…” Do you struggle with Read more…

Resources

How to Flexibly Commit to Your Goals

Every January my gym is descended upon by a throng of committed new members who have made some form of new years resolution to be healthier. Usually, most of those new faces have vanished by the end of March. I often wonder about those people. Is their Inner Critic beating them up in April because they stopped going to the gym in March? No matter the type of resolution, we all fall off the wagon Read more…

By Carly Ebenstein, ago
Insights

Failure is not an “F” Word

We’ve internalized that failure is bad Whether it’s math, sports, or social situations, we’ve all had moments where we gave up on ourselves. We “failed” and that became a reason to quit. We interpreted these moments of failure into seemingly unchangeable truths about ourselves. They became our story. We say things like, “ I’ll never be good at math” or “I always say stupid things when I meet new people.” But “failure” is normal! The Read more…

By Carly Ebenstein, ago
Resources

Use Self-Love to End Destructive Habits

We all have our destructive habits. It’s easiest to think about external habits like smoking, unhealthy eating, or lack of exercise. More than 20 years ago, I was walking with a very good friend, Sean. We saw a group of people smoking cigarettes and Sean commented that those people must hate themselves. We also have habits that can destroy us from the inside. It was an impromptu comment, yet, I want to recognize that self-loathing Read more…

By Carly Ebenstein, ago
Resources

How to Cultivate a New Personality Trait

I’m from New Jersey and come from an energetic family of 6. Needless to say, patience is not a trait that comes naturally to me – if at all! One simple example: I can’t stand figuring out technical issues. They normally force me to call in an “expert”. So last January, I declared 2018 the Year of Patience. Instead of telling myself that I couldn’t do it, I took a deep breath and pushed through. I Read more…

By Carly Ebenstein, ago